You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? That Monday feeling? Well it’s returned. I’m currently lying in bed after having a few days off really hating the idea of heading into the office tomorrow.
On a positive, I’ve been doing some research into my business idea this weekend and even started to put a little bit of money away to buy tools. I’ve invested a little bit of my salary this month and with the help of people in Facebook groups, online videos and research I’ve put together a wish list of the basics I need to kick-start my business project. It might take me a few months to get everything from the list (it is quite extensive) but I should be able to start practising in a few weeks. All baby steps to do something I love, rather than continue to be treated like shit.
I shall keep you updated on progress and give you a sneak peek into my purchases when they arrive.
For now though I must try and remain as positive as I can.
My Fitbit stats show that I had an awful night’s sleep, I’ve struggled to stay awake all day.
C had a meeting a good 4 hour drive away this morning, so I opted to take the bus. Apart from the smelly guy sat opposite me, it was really enjoyable. Ears plugged into Issac Gracie and the morning sun kissing my face. It was a short walk from the bus stop to my office, which meant I was able to hit my Fitbit step goal.
Work was same old, I kept my head down for most of it and did what I could. Finished on time and was greeted by C waiting for me in the carpark.
Drove home, had dinner and crawled into bed. I think I’ll be asleep in 5… 4…. 3….. Zzzzz
I slept in until about 10am, must have needed it.
My Fitbit stats show that I was restless around the time I normally get up for work. I also had horrid dreams that I had been fired for being ill. I could have quite easily drifted back to sleep at 10am, but the risk of picking the dream back up again really put me off.
The rest of the day consisted of lounging around in pyjamas and watching TV.
I showered around 5.30pm and C was home for about 6pm. He ordered takeaway for himself and our daughter, I refused.
C went to bed at 10.30pm and I’m still up. We’re still not talking.
I feel like watching some serial killer programmes, but as I’m never normally one that controls the remote I’m not sure what channels I should hit…. Off to look for a guide on how to use the Sky remote 😂
I’ve been off work for the past two days with a migraine, I’m feeling absolutely wiped out by it so I will probably hold off from returning tomorrow and just take the long weekend to fully recover.
C got home about 7pm, which is late for him. We’re still not talking, or should I say I’m not going out of my way to start a conversation so we just sit in silence.
I just don’t have the energy right now. I’m heading back to bed with my Audiobook.
You know when you forget you’re angry and carry on like nothing happened? Well I did that today and even though we’re talking, I still want him to apologise for his behaviour.
On another note I’ve got crippling pain in my lower back/side area so I’ve come to bed with my hot water bottle to try and ease it.
Never rains but it pours.
So this is it, the very last time I say I’ll start a ‘New Me’ tomorrow. Tomorrow IS the New Me!
No longer will I be chauffeured to and from work. I have bought my weekly bus pass, my Fitbit Versa will be fully charged, primed and ready for the week ahead. I have made plans for one of my girlfriend’s to attend our local ParkRun this coming Saturday (with our kids in tow) and even though we may only be able to walk it, we are still doing something, right?
I’m spending today working on a food menu for the week and plan to do my Ocado shop shortly. I’m also planning on hitting bed by 10.30pm – Lights out and waking up at 6am for a 30min workout and breakfast with a view of hitting the gym 5 times a week.
I’m determined to do this!
… be asleep.
Why is it your brain starts going 1000mph when you really just wanted to get an early night?
Urgh – I feel god awful today. Achey, nausea, headache, cold, tired and just in general bleurgh. I woke up for work, started getting ready and had to retreat to bed. Now I’m on the sofa with a blanket, my pillow and a cat because lying down makes me feel worse.
Today is going to be a long day!