Category: Change

Bluergh

You know that feeling you get in the pit of your stomach? That Monday feeling? Well it’s returned. I’m currently lying in bed after having a few days off really hating the idea of heading into the office tomorrow.

On a positive, I’ve been doing some research into my business idea this weekend and even started to put a little bit of money away to buy tools. I’ve invested a little bit of my salary this month and with the help of people in Facebook groups, online videos and research I’ve put together a wish list of the basics I need to kick-start my business project. It might take me a few months to get everything from the list (it is quite extensive) but I should be able to start practising in a few weeks. All baby steps to do something I love, rather than continue to be treated like shit.

I shall keep you updated on progress and give you a sneak peek into my purchases when they arrive.

For now though I must try and remain as positive as I can.

Motivation

I’m glad to see the back of this week. Things are going on in work that I’m not 100% happy with. People making decisions about my future without reaching out to me first. The people around me that I thought were loyal turn out to be anything but that and I just don’t think I can work in that kind of environment anymore.

On a positive, it’s the weekend. I was hoping to book a cottage and get away, last minute, but that hasn’t gone to plan. Our daughter didn’t get home from school until 5pm and C didn’t get home until 7pm, so by the time people pack and we get on the road it would be midnight before we arrive and that’s just not worth it. Might try and book something for next weekend.

Had an email this morning that our gym is going to be open 24/7, which is brilliant news! I said that likes it’s a place I frequent often when in fact I’ve held my membership for 2 years and haven’t been in over a year now. Yep, I’m one of those people.

If you’re a regular gym-goer, what times do you normally hit the gym floor? How do you keep yourself motivated? I’ve been thinking of booking a Personal Trainer for a few sessions, but I always feel quite intimidated by them.

Work

I returned to work today to the same old crap. There’s a lot of restructuring going on at the minute and lots of redundancies. Thankfully I’m not one of them, but our new site manager wants to give me an opportunity (and hopeful payrise!) but he’s asked me what I want to do? Sadly I don’t think being a lady of leisure is what he means, but really, how do you answer that? Seriously?

I went for a new lead position a few months back and got turned down due to “lack of experience” and I know he wants me to naturally slip into that role, but I’m not sure that role is what I want anymore. I don’t really know what I want. It’s not like I’ve been given a load of Job Specs and been told to pick the one I like the sound of, I’ve literally been given free reign within my capability…. But what is that exactly?

Anyway, the drive home from the office with C wasn’t pleasant. As much as I love him dearly he just doesn’t get my workplace or environment and instead of giving advice, he tells me what I should do, like he could do it better? I shouted that at him as I marched out of the kitchen and disappeared up to the bathroom for a cry.

Didn’t have dinner. Felt like I had a migraine coming on, so took two ibuprofen and have been in bed since 8pm.

Tuesday tomorrow. Oh joy.